I had been dreaming about high school all summer. I graduated at least five more times, each ceremony different from the last, and spent night after night back in those halls making memories as if the window to do so had never closed. I missed high school and thought my loyalty to it was good until the Spirit brought to my attention that I wasn’t trusting God with my future.
With college on the horizon, I was in a “get in, get your degree, get out” kind of mode. I wasn’t going to make any friends. I was going to keep my head down and do merely what I needed to do.
“And he said to them, ‘Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket, or under a bed, and not on a stand?” -Mark 4:21
Then I remembered that verse from Mark, about how the light God puts in us is not meant to be diminished but shone to point others to Him.
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 5:14-16
I told a friend of mine that it’s like I was clenching onto high school with one hand and holding up a fist to God with the other, refusing to believe that He could give me an experience equally as great or greater.
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” -C.S. Lewis
The night after I prayed about and shared my struggles with family and another friend, I dreamed about school— only this time it was my college-to-be. I dreamed that it was day one of that next chapter and, although I was struggling to open up to new friends, I was settling in just fine. I awoke the next morning at peace with the whole situation and thanked God for “letting me see” that everything would be all right. 😌