Don’t Start a Relationship Because You’re Lonely

Because God created us to be in community with one another, there is a natural ache of loneliness that often accompanies singleness, but beware that you do not sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the temporary.

“An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end.”

-Proverbs 20:21

Do not commit to someone who can fulfill your fancy in the here and now. Don’t settle for someone just because you want someone. As Song of Solomon 8:4 pleads, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”

Definitely don’t settle for someone who doesn’t prioritize his relationship with God. “If they aren’t in love with God,” Tovares Grey says, “then you shouldn’t be falling for them.” Choose to marry someone who genuinely loves God and makes you fall more in love with Christ.

Ladies, a man who has given his heart to God will know and appreciate how valuable your heart is. Wait for the one who knows your worth and knows his, too.

“If a man isn’t following God,” Tony Gaskins writes, “he isn’t fit to lead. If he doesn’t have a relationship with God, he won’t know how to have a relationship with you. If he doesn’t know God, he doesn’t know real love.”

“You are a daughter of the King: so walk like it, talk like it, dress like it, and wait for the Godly man who treats you like it.”


These characteristics and others are not only important to consider for yourself but also for any future children of yours. “Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies,” Matt Chandler says, “will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly.”

This is where many might start singing, “Where do the good boys go to hide away?” Oftentimes it seems like there are slim pickings for what it takes to lead and provide for a family in a God-honoring way.

Matt Chandler continues, “I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men,” but don’t let what you see in society convince you that Godly, intentional relationships are no longer possible.

Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. It is better to wait long than marry wrong. It’s better that you are lonely now than to get married and be lonely later.

Trust God’s timing. It’s better to wait a while and have things fall into place than to rush and have things fall apart, but don’t set your hope in a relationship. At the end of the day, no one on earth can satisfy your soul. Only God can complete you.

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.”

-Psalm 73:25

The only One who can truly satisfy the human heart is the One who made it. Get close to God first before getting close to anyone else. God without a man is still God, but a man without God is nothing.

Girl Defined Ministries says, “Singleness isn’t a season to ‘endure’ until marriage, but a season to serve God to the best of our ability.” It’s not your job to catch a man but to serve God until He leads a man to you.

Only when Psalm 73:25 rings true for you are you ready for marriage, but even if you have a great relationship with God, that does not guarantee the spouse perfect for you will be the next one through the door.

Amanda Brown, the founder of Oh Beloved One, once shared her dad’s wise words, “Don’t hate inconveniences. God even tested Abraham and he had to journey three days to sacrifice Isaac,” a task Abraham wasn’t meant to complete.

In further thought, Amanda wrote, “It’s tempting you resent and complain about obstacles and detours, especially if they seem pointless, but think—maybe God has allowed them—even set them up—that you might come through more faithful than before.”

“For a reason you cannot see right now, God wants you to wait.”


Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallways. Great things take time.

The longer you wait for something, the more you’ll appreciate it when you get it because anything worth having is worth waiting for. As Charles Stanley wrote, “Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we’re waiting for.”

“I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait.”

-C.S. Lewis

A friend and I once agreed that there really isn’t a problem with waiting. If you wait for the person you’re interested in and they prove to be “the one,” you will—by God’s grace—have forever with them. However, if they prove to be the wrong person, you won’t have wasted any time dating them.

You also can’t rush something you want to last forever because, if you’re interested in something’s longevity, you will treat it differently.

A God-ordered relationship is never rushed. It is patient so love may be awakened at the right hour. A God-centered relationship where you can pray, worship, and passionately pursue Christ with a man who will lead you to God and not to sin is always worth the wait.

Don’t worry, somewhere someone is searching for you in every person they meet. Within God’s will, someone will one day look at you the same way you look at the stars. That’s the excitement in obedience, finding out later what God had in mind.

My love, take your time, I’ll see you on the other side.

“She’s not afraid of the wait anymore,” Morgan Harper Nichols wrote, “for she knows He will open doors beautiful and perfect in their time.” God is writing your love story, let Him read it to you.

“God’s got this, and He wants you to wait on what He has for you, but He also doesn’t want you to just wait around not doing anything with the life He has given you. Make the most of every opportunity, knowing that what you sow today, you will surely reap tomorrow.”

-Morgan Harper Nichols

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